Why Am I Here?
I guess that’s what a lot of people ask themselves, mostly during chaotic events in their lives, and it’s the one question that provides infinite answers and probabilities as they search for their purpose. My question today is more specific and relates directly to why I am here on Medium and the honest answer is I don’t know yet. All I do know is I love to write and feel like it’s time for me to do something about it, so hopefully, I’m in the right place at the right time.
I’ve thought a lot about what my first piece should be about. I’ve been floating around here for a while all the time writing and trying to gain the courage to press that ‘publish’ button. I have what seems like an eternity of life experiences, some happy and some not so. I feel like I’ve lived a lot of different lives to get to this point today. I see my life as a book, a chapter for each life event that I’ve lived through. Every new chapter starts fresh and exciting until eventually, it ends, sometimes abruptly and sad, but always at each ending a new chapter begins and a new opportunity arises to live a better and happier life.
It’s taken me a long time to be able to deal with endings and I’m still struggling. I’m the one who can’t bear to watch the last episode of a Netflix show as I know the series I’ve been riveted to will eventually be no more. I have countless books that I’ve not finished — mainly because I know once I’ve read that last page it will be all over and even if you read it again, it’s never quite the same the second time around. The only constant I have had in my life is my writing. I’ve written countless stories as an escape from reality, but it’s also mainly reality that I write about, quite the mind spin when you think about it!
My life experiences have taken me through all walks of life. I’ve had days, weeks, even years, where I’ve drifted along mindlessly. Dark days where you feel like you’re in a thick fog and can’t see the road ahead. On those really bad days, where hopelessness is the only friend that you have and all you can do is ask yourself ‘What did I do to deserve this?’, I’ve journaled and wrote. I created storylines sometimes in my head when I couldn’t write to get through each of those dark days. I thought of different possible outcomes — maybe as an escape from what was going on in the real world or maybe to visualise alternative solutions to the problems I was facing in life, but in every storyline, I wrote for myself I survived and got through it.
Believe it or not, and from the paragraph, above I’m going to bet you don’t, I’m an optimist and a pretty happy person. I’ve managed to get through some pretty tragic events in life, that I will digress in more detail in future postings, yet have remained pretty upbeat, and most importantly I’m not resentful or bitter with life or people. I still believe life is a gift and everyone and every event has a purpose. When you’re on that long and windy path and suddenly it splits and then there are two possible futures ahead - I’ve always chosen the one that is full of gratefulness and appreciation as many don’t get to make that choice.
So, to ask again, ‘Why am I here?’ I’m guessing it’s to share my life experiences with anyone who will read my work. Hopefully, they will understand and appreciate what it takes to get to this point in my life, and it may even help them to keep on going too.